getting cut off from being poor hits different with llms

i mean, sure you are probably right.

i’ve been banging away at this all day and i’ve completely changed the way i wanted my scheduler to work because i have all these custom caveats that i need to deploy otherwise the shit won’t work.

right now, we are based on slots per day, eight of them, with gaps, not to be too spammy. claude continues to congratulate me on my awesomeness and then cluster fucks it’s way into the code like a salmon looking for upstream.

thrashing. so much thrashing.

i’m not going to upgrade.

i can’t afford too and you know maybe that’s ok.

maybe i need a BREAK and being poor is the one that decides that.

i mean it already does for millions of people worldwide already.

just hits different when it’s a machine telling you.

feels hollow and rude and metallic.

dangled me a carrot that i can go and enjoy real life for 2.5 hrs and then come back and we can go back at it like the dopamine remote worker i am, working for the machine.

now don’t get me wrong i’m happy to have spent the time.

i’ve learned a lot about python and schedulers and downtime and connectivity drops/disconnects and how it’s gonna look when i deploy on the vps. that’s freaking awesome, everyday should be learning right.

the problem is the haze of usefulness that slowly descends as the day goes on, when you realise you probably should be doing other self care tasks that actually might actually make you feel human again.

no no, the scheduler will be worth it.

i can write, it will share, i don’t worry about it.

later, i can remix things, have routes and channels and talk to other llm’s and remix things because they go out.

it’s the perfect paperboy, delivering me digital feeds into virtual boxes, the ultimate white noise simulator.

but RESET, that actually sounds good now i’ve finished bashing at these keys and leaned back on my ball, yes, a rolling ball, air filled.

maybe everything we do on a computer, media, screen, fuck digital should come with a health warning, the food does for god sake.

how long until touch grass goes away when all the grass is gone and that get’s reduced just to TOUCH.

it’s barely worth thinking about, in fact, i stopped right then.

i can already see the new frontier of remote workers, fixing other peoples code ideas because they can ask the right questions better than other people.

a flashing notification above your bed for your overtime shift as someone needs you to refresh their entire codebase because of a change in environmental conditions.

it’s all very black mirror. it’s all very black. dark.

the times, they are darker than ever.

but continue to be bright, listen to your llm, touch, explore, get sunshine on your face and water on your skin.

consume ______ to alter your mental state, prescribed by human hands or metal hearts.

believe it or not, these are still good times.

peace and love humble heavy industries